On the first day of advent...

[y'all know the damn tune]

... my boyfriend wakes up to...

one shitty headace

a bin full of vomit

and the dicovery of burgulary.....


Urrgh :(

the Wii is gone; along with the remotes, all the Wii games; but not the gamecube ones that they were with; and his iPod with the iPod speaker thingies....

oh joys...

buying for christmas for him has suddenly become alot harder (it was gonna be games ...)


so joy and all that.

redo

wanted to see if its changed at all... (onld one here)

Advanced Global Personality Test Results Extraversion |||||||||||||||| 63% Stability |||||||||| 33% Orderliness |||||||||| 40% Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 63% Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63% Intellectual |||||||||||| 50% Mystical |||||| 30% Artistic |||||||||||||||| 70% Religious |||| 16% Hedonism |||||||||||||| 56% Materialism |||||||||||||| 56% Narcissism |||||||||| 36% Adventurousness |||||||||||| 50% Work ethic |||||||||||| 43% Self absorbed |||||||||| 36% Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36% Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 63% Romantic |||||||||||| 43% Avoidant |||||| 30% Anti-authority |||||| 23% Wealth |||||||||||| 43% Dependency |||||||||||||||| 70% Change averse |||||||||||| 43% Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50% Individuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70% Peter pan complex |||||||||||| 43% Physical security |||||||||||||||| 63% Physical Fitness |||||| 24% Histrionic |||||||||| 36% Paranoia |||||||||||||||| 63% Vanity |||||||||||||||| 63% Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||| 63% Indie |||||||||||||| 56%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting at the expense of developing your own individual interests and internally based identity.

trait snapshot:
craves attention, messy, open, rash, irritable, likes large parties, low self control, weird, fragile, does not like to be alone, emotionally sensitive, worrying, depressed, heart over mind, does not respect authority, dependent, not rule conscious, not good at saving money, more interested in relationships than intellectual pursuits, likes to fit in, very social, frequently second guesses self, phobic, suspicious, not careful, outgoing, vain, compassionate, aggressive, likes to make fun, hates to lose

Bloooood

well yesterday i gave blood :)

erm, not much else to say about it; i thought i'd give it a go :)

feels good ;)

if you wanna know of you can or not clicky >>> here <<<

damn teeth :(

have gotta abcessin my lower right second pre-molar :(

was gonna wait till i have an appointment in oxford on the 10th; but pain is too much; gotta find a dentist here...

[this is more of a reminder to myself]

gaar

livin' off painkillers and bonjella again...

Still Alive

Hey :)

i thought i'd check in;

i'm still here, and im better :)

thanks for caring, and still checking; i still watch you all, sorry i dont have much to say though..

erm; i would give an update to my life, except that theres not much to say...

i have a new boyfriend; 2 weeks today now, its going good so far, but in fear of jinxing it; i wont say much more... (for now ;) )

umm yea; i guess i still need to update properly, and yes, the japan post is still on the cards (getting there...)

laters all

and thanks for caring, again :)

.

what is it with me and relationships?



why is I'm so scared when I'm alone; I cant stand to be alone; I need to be with someone to be able to function on even a basic level


but once I'm in a relationship it flips the eithier way; I'll fight and fight and fight to get out; I find little wrongdoing in everything around me; I'll pick and push and push and push until the other, the person with me can no longer be with me

and I wont have it another way because I cant end a relation ship, even if I'm pushing so hard to get out; I can't get myself there because inside; I'm still so scarred of being alone that I drive myself back in to a relationship; where I may not want to be in.


I put up with so much just to not be alone, but then I give so much pain and crap out, its suprising I'm not alone; I push so hard and break so much, and yet I still need to be inside; to have that reassurance that I'm not alone.




why cant I function in a relationship?
why cant I function outside of a relationship?

why can't I just function?




I think I need help,

but I cant do this alone;
but I have to do it alone.



I need help

I need help to be alone




I need help to be safe when I'm alone


because at the moment;

I'm not.

these things are way too much fun to fuck around with..

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Gwen Sallabank
Birthday:	11 March '86
Birthplace:	Oxford
Current Location:	Swansea, halfway off a chair
Eye Color:	Blue/ Grey/ Green with bits of brown
Hair Color:	Golden "strawberry blonde" / Turquoise
Height:	average about 5'9" i think :S
Right Handed or Left Handed:	ambidextrous, but tend to use right
Your Heritage:	Scandanavian on one side, idiots the other
The Shoes You Wore Today:	shoes? normally my Vans
Your Weakness:	others
Your Fears:	being alone
Your Perfect Pizza:	cheesey cheese cheese with double cheese and stuffed crust :D
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Pass course, make some money to repay overdraft
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	apparently "aww" and hugs / maniac grin smilie
Thoughts First Waking Up:	aww shit ive overslept again
Your Best Physical Feature:	eyes /hair
Your Bedtime:	your morning
Your Most Missed Memory:	i dont remmeber it. possiblty happiness
Pepsi or Coke:	Dr Pepper!
MacDonalds or Burger King:	YO sushi!
Single or Group Dates:	prunes
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	neither. iced chocolate ^^
Chocolate or Vanilla:	chocolate as it contains Vanilla anyway
Cappuccino or Coffee:	thayre both coffee! duh.
Do you Smoke:	tried and burnt my fingers. so no.
Do you Swear:	all the fucking time
Do you Sing:	not at an audiable frequency
Do you Shower Daily:	every-otherdaily
Have you Been in Love:	once
Do you want to go to College:	im in Uni
Do you want to get Married:	dont know. if im gay then yes, just to piss ya off.
Do you belive in yourself:	no
Do you get Motion Sickness:	not usually. i get vibration sickness from engines
Do you think you are Attractive:	vaugly
Are you a Health Freak:	im freaky, does that count?
Do you get along with your Parents:	not really. its tense at best.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	almost as much as thundercats
Do you play an Instrument:	only if you want it broken
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	only a *little* =3
In the past month have you Smoked:	no, ive been smoked at tho. (mite as well)
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	i sat on my neurophen
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	i walk through a shoppeing centre everyday
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	sadly no
In the past month have you been on Stage:	i fell of a stage
In the past month have you been Dumped:	more rejected than dumped
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	not yet
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	nothing tangible
Ever been Drunk:	obviously
Ever been called a Tease:	always
Ever been Beaten up:	many a time
Ever Shoplifted:	yup
How do you want to Die:	quickly while making maximum mess :P
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	grown up
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan again
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:	the colour of magic
Favourite Hair Color:	whatever suits
Short or Long Hair:	long on guys, short on girls
Height:	a lil taller than i
Weight:	not bothered
Best Clothing Style:	clothes? who needs those? ;)
Number of Drugs I have taken:	whatevers pescribed to me
Number of CDs I own:	well most of them officially still belong to HMV....
Number of Piercings:	one, for now
Number of Tattoos:	none, to be rectified soon
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	countless actions, words and decisions
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!